Phoenix Wright Dank Attorney

Phoenix Wright Dank Attorney is a fanfiction by jakkid166 and is his eighth main series fanfiction.

Plot
Phoenix Wright is in his house laying in bed, noting that he doesn't feel like doing anything today. But, directly after saying this, his phone rings leading an irritated Phoenix to drag himself out of bed and answer the phone. After a brief moment of confusion, it is revealed to be Miles Edgeworth who is calling. He tells Phoenix that Maya Fey is doing something and that he needs to come over and stop her, but refuses to tell him what it is.

Phoenix runs all the way to Maya's house to find that, of all possible things, she is smoking weed while Edgeworth is simply standing there waiting for Phoenix to arrive. While Phoenix initially disapproves, Maya says that it would logically have been legalized by now, so Phoenix relents and proceeds to smoke with Maya, much to Edgeworth's irritation. Edgeworth storms out as the police arrest Maya and Phoenix, after Maya reveals that weed isn't actually legal. In jail, Phoenix begs Edgeworth to let him out of prison, but Edgeworth is determined to convict them for their crime. At the trial, it is revealed that the prosecutor is actually Manfred von Karma, who says he is changing the charges to murder.

von Karma explains that, due to Phoenix and Maya's negligence, Pearl Fey mistakenly smoked Maya's bong and died from an overdose on weed. He calls Detective Jakkid166 to the stand to testify. The good Detective claims the same thing as von Karma, but Phoenix quickly shoots down his claims by proving that it is impossible to overdose on weed. von Karma, however, counters that the weed was laced with heroin, prompting Maya to rethink who the decides to buy from. Phoenix proceeds to claim that Pearl is not strong enough to use a lighter, so they call her to the stand despite her supposedly being the victim of this case.

Nevertheless, Pearl successfully comes to the stand, and Phoenix throws the lighter to her. She demonstrates that she can't use it, after which, Detective Jakkid166 says both that he lied, and that he is the actual killer. He proceeds to rip his clothes off in the middle of court, now wearing china-themed clothes and holding a gong. For some reason. He then proceeds to claim that he is the killer because Pearl isn't dead, at which point Phoenix and von Karma suddenly realize that Pearl couldn't be dead because she was just on the stand earlier. Meanwhile, Detective Jakkid reveals that the true purpose of this trial was to convict Phoenix for the murder of Manfred von Karma. von Karma jumps into the witness stand and thanks his cousin for assisting him, while Phoenix and Maya proceed to panic.

Manfred claims to be dead, and testifies that Phoenix killed him while they were in the Fruitmart. Despite this being true, Phoenix thinks he's lying, and is determined to prove it. Manfred presents evidence for Wright's guiltiness, including a gun with Wright's fingerprints on it. Phoenix requests von Karma to let him see the gun for a second, which he obliges by throwing the gun at Phoenix. Phoenix immediately ducks down under the defense bench and wipes his fingerprints off, and then throws the gun back to von Karma, who is seemingly completely oblivious to what happened.

Manfred calls Satan to the stand, where he testifies that he was there to pick up milk for Jesus, which Phoenix points out as a contradiction, saying that Fruitmart doesn't sell milk. Manfred simply retorts by saying they made an expansion, leading to a short trading of poorly-thought-out insults between the two. Finally, Phoenix presents the fact that his prints are not on the gun, but von Karma simply laughs and whispers to Phoenix that he intended for him to wipe the fingerprints off the gun, because in doing so he supposedly also removed von Karma's fingerprints from it, despite von Karma never actually having touched Phoenix's gun. Regardless, Phoenix is so angered by this that he throws the gun at von Karma, but due to him being a ghost, it simply passes through him. It then hits the wall and fires, killing The Guy.

Enraged, the Judge demands to know who did it. Gumshoe claims it was von Karma who fired the gun, and as a result von Karma is arrested. However, as he is led away, he simply laughs and notes how he'll just escape through the walls of the jail because he is a ghost. Phoenix and Maya rejoice for their brief victory, but Edgeworth returns reminding them that they were caught with weed. After Phoenix and Maya briefly sing about how they have no way of proving their innocence, the Judge decides to legalize weed and smoke with Phoenix and Maya, much to Edgeworth's chagrin.

Characters
Phoenix Wright

Maya Fey

Miles Edgeworth

Manfred von Karma

Detective Jakkid166

Pearl Fey

The Judge

The Guy